Conspiracy Theory
I think it's time to disseminate one of the most popular myths of our time- it has taken such a strong root in pop culture, that it has seeped into the collectively vulnerable minds of our youth, like a pervasive pathogen. Deadly and lethally accurate, it is time that the truth was uncovered and the lies exposed.
I'm all for exposing. Lies.
Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer, the awkward and clumsy symbol of Christmas, has remained invincible behind his stronghold of falsely contrived stories that tell of his ostensible conversion from a socially ostracized reindeer (read:loser. Trust me, I'd know about this one.) to a socially succesful (read:popular. Don't know much more.) creature that is given a prominent leadership positions among his fellow mammals.
While I'm all for stories that promulgate idealistic visions of losers ascending the ranks of elite popularity, I believe this myth has crossed the line. We begin, with Rudolph's unlikely climb to the top of the Reindeer pyramid. Why, would Santa Claus promote a reindeer who has no popular support? What is the point of having a leader, whom nobody likes? (See: Not Being Elected Prefect). And why did Santa Claus take this decision upon himself- why did he not use a reality show so that America could choose America's next reindeer. Some suggest, it was for the sheer wattage of Rudolph's nose- has Santa Claus, however, not heard of Home Depot? The problems that riddle this poorly thought out myth, are unfortunately found among the other reindeer of Santa Claus' brood as well. After Santa Claus, unexpectedly promotes the aforementioned reindeer to the lead position, we are witness to a startling event. Suddenly, as though they had forgotten their previous hatred and attempts at isolating the poor reindeer, the other reindeer's practically run over each other to support a bewildered Rudolph. Why, when they hadn't even let him join in their reindeer games, did they execute this about turn in personality and in preference?
If this story truly did happen then perhaps there is- after all- hope for me.
I'm all for exposing. Lies.
Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer, the awkward and clumsy symbol of Christmas, has remained invincible behind his stronghold of falsely contrived stories that tell of his ostensible conversion from a socially ostracized reindeer (read:loser. Trust me, I'd know about this one.) to a socially succesful (read:popular. Don't know much more.) creature that is given a prominent leadership positions among his fellow mammals.
While I'm all for stories that promulgate idealistic visions of losers ascending the ranks of elite popularity, I believe this myth has crossed the line. We begin, with Rudolph's unlikely climb to the top of the Reindeer pyramid. Why, would Santa Claus promote a reindeer who has no popular support? What is the point of having a leader, whom nobody likes? (See: Not Being Elected Prefect). And why did Santa Claus take this decision upon himself- why did he not use a reality show so that America could choose America's next reindeer. Some suggest, it was for the sheer wattage of Rudolph's nose- has Santa Claus, however, not heard of Home Depot? The problems that riddle this poorly thought out myth, are unfortunately found among the other reindeer of Santa Claus' brood as well. After Santa Claus, unexpectedly promotes the aforementioned reindeer to the lead position, we are witness to a startling event. Suddenly, as though they had forgotten their previous hatred and attempts at isolating the poor reindeer, the other reindeer's practically run over each other to support a bewildered Rudolph. Why, when they hadn't even let him join in their reindeer games, did they execute this about turn in personality and in preference?
If this story truly did happen then perhaps there is- after all- hope for me.
posted by gah at 10:15 PM
1 Comments:
I am in the depths of despair. There's no getting me out. Heh.
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