Fun
I live in a part of Canada that does not have much in the way of high-stakes entertainment (except perhaps for the Flames).
There is a theme park though.
Before your overactive imaginations conjure up images of towering rides, reams of games and amusement, log rides and, inevitably, churros, understand this- my theme park is a decrepit mess, which attracts more insects then human beings, and has the general cleanliness of a dump.
When I was little, however, it seemed like heaven. I remember seeing signs on gas stations, selling seasons passes (gasp!)- I would stare at the sign, depicting kids and adults having fun, hungrily, wishing to go to this obvious, infallible, land of magic and wonder. For a limited time, with every gas fill up, there were free tickets being given away. What largesse! I think I begged my parents to get me a ticket, and thankfully, they didn't- giving me uneasy looks, and perhaps unwilling to reveal the truth.
I was invited to a birthday party, in my 8th year of life, however at the aforementioned park. The family hosting the birthday, had rented a bus (before I go further, I should explain I go to a private school. Some families are...wealthy). When our yellow bus pulled smoothly in front of zealously colored gates, we were surprised by the sight of an empty parking lot.
"Maybe nobody came here today?" one parent ventured.
"The employees didn't come either?" one parent observed, wryly.
When we saw the locked gates, we finally realized that through some strange twist of fate, the park was closed. The Birthday Girl sat down, and prompty began to cry (this was the established convention). We ended up going to a bowling alley. It seemed then, that I wasn't destined to visit this park.
I was invited once again, in the summer of Grade 7 to visit the park with my neighbour's son's, friends from England. The park, unfortunately, was open.
The rides were cliche, broken down, and generally unattractive. After wolfing down some indistinguishable food from one of the stands, I walked- feeling queasy- onto one of the rides, chosen arbitrarily. Just my luck, the ride was a gigantic ship that swivelled, up and down and up and down and up. Great for my stomach.
When I'd finished throwing up, and staring at the ship, my mind wondering why anyone would make a ride like that, I headed over to the mini-golf course. I couldn't envision, how even this theme park could make mini-golf bad. Turned out it wasn't a bad course, but you had to pay to enter. I'd already paid for the park, and then I had to pay to enter one of the attractions.
!
But, eager to redeem to my purchase of a ticket and fufill my life long dream of enjoying myself at a theme park, I paid and entered. Within ten minutes I was kicked out- I had hit the person behind him, in the eyes, with my golf club as I brought it up to hit the ball. In between his screaming, punctuated with several obscenities, he demanded I never be allowed within ten feet of a golf club. The attendants, livened up by this bit of excitement, obliged.
The other day, I won a draw. I was given the choice between two prizes- a yo-yo and a seasons pass to the aforementioned park.
I reached for the yo-yo without the slightest hesitation.
There is a theme park though.
Before your overactive imaginations conjure up images of towering rides, reams of games and amusement, log rides and, inevitably, churros, understand this- my theme park is a decrepit mess, which attracts more insects then human beings, and has the general cleanliness of a dump.
When I was little, however, it seemed like heaven. I remember seeing signs on gas stations, selling seasons passes (gasp!)- I would stare at the sign, depicting kids and adults having fun, hungrily, wishing to go to this obvious, infallible, land of magic and wonder. For a limited time, with every gas fill up, there were free tickets being given away. What largesse! I think I begged my parents to get me a ticket, and thankfully, they didn't- giving me uneasy looks, and perhaps unwilling to reveal the truth.
I was invited to a birthday party, in my 8th year of life, however at the aforementioned park. The family hosting the birthday, had rented a bus (before I go further, I should explain I go to a private school. Some families are...wealthy). When our yellow bus pulled smoothly in front of zealously colored gates, we were surprised by the sight of an empty parking lot.
"Maybe nobody came here today?" one parent ventured.
"The employees didn't come either?" one parent observed, wryly.
When we saw the locked gates, we finally realized that through some strange twist of fate, the park was closed. The Birthday Girl sat down, and prompty began to cry (this was the established convention). We ended up going to a bowling alley. It seemed then, that I wasn't destined to visit this park.
I was invited once again, in the summer of Grade 7 to visit the park with my neighbour's son's, friends from England. The park, unfortunately, was open.
The rides were cliche, broken down, and generally unattractive. After wolfing down some indistinguishable food from one of the stands, I walked- feeling queasy- onto one of the rides, chosen arbitrarily. Just my luck, the ride was a gigantic ship that swivelled, up and down and up and down and up. Great for my stomach.
When I'd finished throwing up, and staring at the ship, my mind wondering why anyone would make a ride like that, I headed over to the mini-golf course. I couldn't envision, how even this theme park could make mini-golf bad. Turned out it wasn't a bad course, but you had to pay to enter. I'd already paid for the park, and then I had to pay to enter one of the attractions.
!
But, eager to redeem to my purchase of a ticket and fufill my life long dream of enjoying myself at a theme park, I paid and entered. Within ten minutes I was kicked out- I had hit the person behind him, in the eyes, with my golf club as I brought it up to hit the ball. In between his screaming, punctuated with several obscenities, he demanded I never be allowed within ten feet of a golf club. The attendants, livened up by this bit of excitement, obliged.
The other day, I won a draw. I was given the choice between two prizes- a yo-yo and a seasons pass to the aforementioned park.
I reached for the yo-yo without the slightest hesitation.
posted by gah at 4:12 PM
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